this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
