he shaved USA in his pubs
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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