Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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