my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
