...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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