It's Friday. Sex?
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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