who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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