a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
It's blow job season.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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