it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
