She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
