Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
