You made me cry and you don't even care
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
