we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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