Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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