Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
