he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
