An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
My pussy is not your playground.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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