no, he came in my armpit
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
