I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
