The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
