Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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