Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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