I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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