Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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