Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
