my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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