So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Randomize
