i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
