I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
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