I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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