She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
nut hugger
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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