if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Nobody cheats on THIS.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize