Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Randomize
