i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
