theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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