last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
