I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
You are a genius and a whore.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
