We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
