Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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