Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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