Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
