listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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