how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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