If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
