I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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