It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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