Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
