Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
accomplished twins. life is a go
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
