im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
