I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
