roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
