I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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